Food for Thought

Ask Changmin – My Face, Junsu’s Ass

July 6th, 2009

MaknaeFan asks: Changmin why is your nose so low? or is that your lips are so high? There is not enough space between your lips and your nose and it makes you look weird.

Changmin: Are you tired of living? There are hundreds of men at this very second in time in beauty restoration clinics throughout Korea, flipping through a plastic binder of celebrity photos and pointing to my gorgeous and perfectly asymmetric features to replace their facial deformities.
And soon men throughout the world will be clutching onto the sleeves of white lab coats, begging their cosmetic surgeons to “give them the Min.”

Chris asks: What are your thoughts on Junsu’s badonkadonk? Personally, I’d bend him over the table and spank that ass!

Changmin: Well, provided you’re a guy, Junsu would most likely enjoy that. In fact, he’d probably even ask you to use more force.

Lee asks: Hey Changmin, why do you like to tease Junsu so much? Are you in love with him?

Changmin: Do you know what the Boto is, Lee? It’s the pink dolphin that lives in the Amazon River. Fans may refer to Junsu as a dolphin because they’re both cute, make high-pitched sounds and have a large dorsal. But what fans may not know is that Junsu is a real boto.
Legend has it, when night falls on the Amazon River, the pink dolphin transforms into a hot young guy. And this hot guy has magical seductive powers which he uses to lure villagers into bed with him. The only way to not fall prey to the charms of Junsu and the pink dolphins, Lee, is to remain cold and frosty to them. Otherwise, before you know what hit you, you’re on your knees behind a tree with his flippers around your head and your face buried in his blowhole.

junsu pink dolphin

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Ask Changmin – Violence, Armpit Hair, Soda and a Love Child

June 27th, 2009

Changmin received a shitload of questions so he’s gonna answer a few at a time.

Pau asks: Which do you prefer beating the hell out of a pregnant woman, spanking innocent children or hammering old people with their canes?

Changmin: I’m a person of peace, Pau. And I can’t take my anger out on women, kids, or oldsters. That’s what I have Junsu for.

Wei Yu asks: Changmin oppa, will you ever wax your armpits? Because I love you and all, but the hair there has to go.

Changmin: And why does my armpit hair, my ‘crowning glory’ as many fans call it, have to go? To be made into a merkin for Jae to wear when he wants to surprise Yunho in bed? I think it’s pretty sick what Jae does with the all the body hair he removes.

Mariah asks: Pepsi or Coke?

Changmin: Pepsi MAX, baby!!!

Jenni Kim asks: How do you feel being known as the ‘YunJae love child’?

Changmin: I feel like these people haven’t really thought this out logically. And to be honest with you, Jenni, I see myself more as a cock-blocker than a love child.

jaejoong merkin

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Ask Changmin – Snark and Sexiness

June 20th, 2009

Lindsay asks: Min, why are you so snarky? And so sexy?

Changmin: Why does the lady mantis bite off her lover’s head after they’ve done sexy time together? Cuz it’s in her genes, Lindsay. It’s natural. Or, in a few rare cases, she caught him bumping nasties with some other slut mantis.
I’m snarky cuz it’s in my DNA. Biting people’s heads off (verbally, of course) is just what I do naturally. *

*same answer applies to my sexiness

changmin mantis

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Ask Changmin – Food and Yunjae

June 13th, 2009

Mindy asks: How much do you eat on average? oh and what are your views on yunjae?

Changmin: Like the snowy owl, I’m a lot smarter than I look and I usually eat my weight in food everyday.
As far as Yunjae goes, the first few years were really hard on me because they disturbed my sleep with all their moaning and whatnot.  But now that they’re an old couple the noises have really died down.

snowy owl changmin

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